Obligatory New Year Post

Finally after an almost 40 days hiatus, during which I embarked on a self-searching journey, a new look is presented.

As we sing auld lang syne to the year of 2008, moments must be spent reflecting on the issues that happened in the year of the rat. The ups and downs, the lefts and straights and etc, the people we meet, the people we wish not to be acquainted with.. All these contributes to a year's worth of memory.

New Year Resolutions? As Yin Foong said, why make them when you know you will break them. A long year lies ahead, and the only constant is change. Dates aren't important in the eternity of a lifetime; only the sense of time, or the recognition of time passing is crucial in this case. A year is merely a measure of time. As with seconds, minutes, centuries. What makes time time is the memory, or the images associated with it.

With that, i give you my most significant event of 2008







And because I didn't have any of my ORD photos, these should suffice. Thanks to chee

2 years

Yay. Today marks a 2 year anniversary since the day i entered tekong for the first time. Not a day which i have fond memories of, but hey it is a day which marks a start of a new(however, pathetic) path in my life.
Things i have achieved:

1) I can proudly say that i have endured quite a lot of arrows,sai gangs, shit, scoldings, guard duties. All this are part and parcel of a normal soldier in the SAF. Hence, i am relate to all the difficulties met by a conscripted soldier in singapore. And thus, more stuff to bitch about to other fellow young men.
2) How to look out of trouble and avoid them. How to look out for troublesome people and avoid/annoy/try-to-act-friendly-but-backstab/poke-fun at them.
3) Appreciate the actions of people
4) Realised that there are many kinds of people in the world. Serious something i never realised before army.
5) Can i say DDR?

Things i got worst at:
1) Woot i am still without any companion of the opposite gender. Grreeaattt.
2) Efforts at improving 1)
3) Expressing myself. But looking at someone else, i feel fine about that.
4) Go to 1)

Any one wants to add anything to this list? Please send all requests to my mailbox. Attach a recent photograph of yourself if you may to boost your chances of your mail getting read.

New beginnings..i hope

(random blabberings mode:on)

With the end of my NSF life, and the beginning of university life, i can't help but think: is this a new start of everything? Will i be burdened by my past?(i will definitely still be bothered by NS. dammit)Will things go according to what i hoped for? One thing true about life is that there is no definite walkthrough to it, and every seemingly insignificant action might have an effect. The butterfly effect or chaos theory, it seems to be. Already my NSF life had destroyed what i had planned for, my ideals, and in a good way, my naiveness towards life.

Point 1: I really do believe that effort equals to desirable results. Anyone can work hard towards his ideals, goals, or even simply desires, and he will get it. Even a simple portion will do. The world, however, isn't so charitable. From what i had seen, sadly to say, the fact of the matter is effort does not always brings about the sweet fruit of success. Luck, or some say karma,fate,destiny,whatever word one may assign to the divine intervention of the higher living forms, is in play. Simply put, Luck ^ Effort = Results. You can put in a lot of effort and it can just a waste of effort. It is true conversely. What to do? Suck thumb and start blaming your god. You can start to change religion.

Point 2: I really do not believe in destiny. Till i met people borned with a fucking diamond spoon in their mouth. Or people with brains that are just out of this world. In a good and bad sense. In the race of life, people do not start at the same point. As again, you can start blaming your god.

Point 3: Equality is good and beneficial to the masses. Bullshit. Inequality is the way to go. Step on the other people who are trying to crawl their way up. Dramas aren't real. Get real.

Conclusion: Some things in life are inevitable. Some things aren't. Be optimistic. It is the only way to feel good after getting out of a shithole.

I digress. Anyway i had forgotten why i post in the first place. So i wish to all couples a Happy Valentines Day.
(Well definitely i will feel jealous when i see couples walking hand in hand. Especially when i am with a group of guys loitering around the arcade, the DDR section, fast food restaurants. To Hell with anti-single movements. They are just sour grapes. Having someone to cuddle, bitch, fight, accompany, beats none. I will get that elusive someone someday.)

Nsman

At long last i sighted my pink ic. The days of bitching, area cleaning, marching, getting scolded at every little thing, "heads out!!!",5-bx, soc training and tests, stores, lame parades and colourful operas, lugging of signal sets around outfield with camo( at least temporarily), outrageously priced cookhouse food, rifle cleaning, scouring around camp looking for rubbish to throw, PA, putting on and off TES sets, sudden deluge of rubbish on fridays, waking up and sleeping at a regular timing, rumors of nights out, route marches around camp or/and up/down stairs are gone. Yeah that basically sums up my 1 and a half years in 4sir. How delightful are those activities.

A simple ceremony today marks the end of my NSF days. ( And that still requires signal platoon to set up the PA system. Luckily i was spared. kudos to chee and derrick) Yet(or should i say obviously?), there is no melancholy, nostalgia in the air. Only exhilaration, exuberance, the eager to return to civilian life lingered in the air. Everyone wants to get out ASAP. Watchful eyes followed the holy pink ics' that mark the beginning of a long respite before ICT. That said, it was expected. The CNY celebrations just seems to be the icing on a cake.

Likewise to what yin foong said, i will only miss our platoonmates and commanders and friends made within the battalion. Especially the days outfield with the evolving TAC( the more or less permanently members: edison, wei chong, yin foong, derrick, brian, han cong, jianyun), stupid bunk fights and shouting and bitching and yelling; the bits and pieces of bunking life can't really be found anywhere except in camp.

Then again, to say that the 1 year 10 months is totally useless is biased. The lessons learnt, experience gained makes one more mature. The short stint has perhaps prepared me better for the cruel world outside.

(random blabberings) I realised that it is so hard to maintain your aspirations and dreams in life. Forces keep pushing you to do what the majority does; to veer off the track and bash up a new path up a slope is just so mentally and physically straining, even thinking of it makes one feel exhausted. Society judge you on what you think, do, act and even on what you not do and think. Likewise, i felt somewhat lost after the 2 years. Regimentation on a regular basis had changed my thinking;to just follow instructions can be easy sometimes. Maybe i am just getting sick and tired of my life. haha

Sighhh. The beginning of a new story; the start of a new track. To say in konata's terms, to trigger a new flag to a completely different ending.

Hell Vs 4Shit

Saw this joke on some blog my friend shown me. Tweaked the characters, but otherwise the flavour remains the same.






One politician, One thief & One 4Shit Soldier(shall call him Eagle) died & went straight to hell.

Politician said 'I miss my country. I want to call my country and see how everybody is doing there.' She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked 'Well, devil how much do I need to pay for the call????The devil said 'Five million dollars'. The Politician wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

Thief was so jealous, he started screaming, 'My turn! I wanna call my group members, I want to see how everybody is doing there too.' He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked 'Well, devil, how much do I need to pay for the call???? The devil said 'Ten million dollars'. With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

Eagle was even more jealous & started screaming, 'I want to call my platoon mates, my PC and OC !!'. He called his friends and commanders and he talked for twenty hours about

horrendous natures of outfields
the endless saigang
more and more PT and SOC
the inability of the big fucks
crazy csms and their theories
how ORD is so far away

he talked & talked & talked, then he asked 'Well, devil how much do I need to pay for the call???? The devil said 'Twenty dollars'. Eagle was stunned & said 'Twenty dollars??? Only ??'

Devil says

Spoiler:

Calling from hell to hell is a local call..

2: Aftermath

(Perhaps this is too late, but i will just sum up what happened and what i feel about events post ATEC. An obligation to myself to end the saga.)

What Happened

1) Encik forces his rage upon Edison on his inability to take part in ATEC, and his "weak-mindedness", in regulation to his own theory.

2) More outfield. Yeah. 3 days and 2 nights to boot somemore. Sounds like a tour package with combat rations and the grass as our accommodations. Not.

3) We are the worst platoon. Definitely. Confirmed and proved. Evidence: the all high pseudo-fallout rate of 1/16. Notwithstanding the statistics from other platoons.

4) Threat of RT, or remedial training for the ill-informed. Which means friday night and saturday morning burned. Another tick to the ills of this hellhole.

Need i say more? Weird people have weird rules that he or she conforms to. That is all right. Even weirder people demand other people to agree to what he says. Of course i do not blame edison, just that i wonder why didn't he take status to rebutt the accusations of encik. That is just inviting trouble. Bleah. Because i'm not a Christian i will judge and not forgive you. ( i know this is getting cliche, but whatever.)

I do not wish to say more. Just let me pass my fucking 16 days in peace.

Part 1: Stairway to Disaster: Imminent & Inevitable

ATEC (or war as the higher ups call it) was a ticking time bomb with less than 10 seconds to spare and no one with the technological know-how to defuse it. The situation is grim, and no one care to do anything to improve it. Everyone knew that we are bound on a road to hell; not everyone want to face up to the truth. Why is this so? The fallacy of the capabilities of the Permanently Shitty Organisation.

The prospect of having to endure through a grueling 4 ~ 5 days of outfield isn't very promising; neither is the fact that we can't bring our personal communication devices. But more is yet to come. Lack of sleep is definitely a common problem that most of us face during the few days; i shall not talk much about it despite much bitching. Amidst the adversities that we face, one is very unnecessary. Absence of hygiene. Our sweat,blood,insectsss-infested piece of clothing rubbing against our skin constantly is an extreme physical and psychological torture. And while we hoped, desired, begged, longed for our clean pieces of clothing, the fact as we realised later is that they will never come. Or more appropriately, when they should. Darn the poor support given to us. And this confirmed the fact that everyone hate us, for other people got their deserved clean clothing while we can only LLST. Why? Because a certain someone lacks the resolve and some can say power to override orders for the sake of their own brethren. All these results in the red marks on my back. Thanks. I do not mind people doing less than what they should do( even if they themselves are not really doing much), as myself falls in that category unfortunately. But please be aware about other people while you are doing that and don't fuck others who are already suffering.

I do not care about the outcome of the "war", but surprisingly not only the part-timers have that mentality. Just look at the poor and immature planning. And also, sending our people into the reaches of our enemies is plain dumb. All these are not what i have seen or heard directly, but by judging from the fatalities, even an idiot would know that there is something wrong with the instructions given. And yet they expect results. You reap what you sow. No wonder we have to do a samura. What the empires say are true also: this is not PSLE or o levels; this is ATEC. Nowadays, even parents of kids taking PSLE racked up countless of cold hard cash onto tuition, books, whatever professional advice and stuff to ace their exams. But the Asses did next to naught to exemplify their commitment to the success of the "war". What an irony.

I do not blame the ABC's directly on their inabilities, for they are in the same predicament as us. The Serve and F-off policy is universal. What perplexed me is that they could use more and better training instead of playing soccer all day long or ironing their beds. Again, the multitasking nature of our battalion isn't helpful. They know we have not much time, and yet we still stick our nose into matters that has no benefits for us.

Still, it is finally over. But over with wounds indeed. Now who will shoulder the responsibilities? I have a premonition that the above said will not get their just deserts, while the innocent who gave their all, will also not get their desserts. We shall see.

Last minute talks doesn't solve ingrained grievances amicably

As the title suggests, hardships and complaints doesn't dissolve into nothingness in the snap of a finger. The timing of the talk doesn't really help; in fact it worsens our suspicions and we can't really believe the words coming of L's mouth. What he talked about confirms my worst fears: the evil is deep rooted in the organisation, and no amount of surveys, coachings, talks like this, will repair it. It must be solved from the root down, to the practices, mindsets, beliefs. In other words, it is a futile effort. It is rotten to the core. It must be purged out of existence. Reform. Anarchy follows.

Anyway, not discussing what he had said( blah blah blah breach bleah), i came to a conclusion. He is just paying lip service. Well, at least he did regard us as somewhat crucial in the upcoming test. Then again, he probably said the same thing to the rest of the people. I didn't really bother to listen to what he said after the initial 10 minutes or so. Its all bullcrap and i just want to serve and finish and get the hell out of the hellhole. Can't believe people actually still want to bother giving their 50% for this place which gives little benefits for their respective contributions. I can't really comment on this because i don't really care about these 18 months in the first place and gave next to nothing. People can say whatever they want, about giving your best and all, and owing this to the nation, unit, defending the love ones and stuff. As if the passing or failure of one thing matters that much to the nation. Ask the rest who are just slacking around and they will laugh it off.

Whatever. just let me break off from this burden now
Until then, see you tonight guys and brace yourselves for shit tomorrow.